15 June 2010,
Today was totally out. I'm just human being, trying to be nice to people but I don't know, it make thing so much worse and complicated that I can imagine. Was is bad for being nice, I’m just being a good friend and suggest any good idea maybe can help him to overcome his bored in order to wait his turn to get marry to someone.
Am I that bad? What wrongs with me? It all my fault, how could I ever care for those people who doesn’t want their life to be change. I wish I have very bad heart, doesn’t even want to care any of those people who don’t care about their own life. Why should I care, why should I give any good idea or any good word might help them endure their life. Why don’t I leave them just like they love to be?
Ya Allah,
“Give me strength and courage, my heart want to give good deed to the people around me.”
I love all people to be united by the name of Allah then I give word based on what has been written in Al- Quran. I know I’m not knowledgeable but what I have said just simple and minor. I’m not qualified to lecture but after all, what that I gave very light and every people on the age 22 – 30 could be understood.
Most of people that I give my point of view based on Islam but people hate me for being nice and such pretender. People will think of that I’m very good in talking but not doing it. What I need is a good friend who can remain and advice me about what I’ve done wrong. Good friend will tell us the ugly truth about ourselves.
I don’t know what I should do now, what can I think of is only to be good to everyone. Impression was so far worst; it is only my suggestion and good word. If it is not suitable to the condition of mind and purpose, it’s ok.
I will live in the hard way cause that life want me to be. Because no pain no gain.Therefore I've someone who love me the most and will hate me at all cost. until here and we meet again.
This journal is something that i can pull everything out. if one day i 'll not be around to write again and the this journal will remain for those people hate me and love me.
i have no intention to make anyone or everyone mad at me or make someone hurt for my unexpected behavior . I'm truly sorry, i only want to share which is good and if it is bad please advice me cause I'm very poor in my judgment and my conduct.
the best part is i love my mom , dad , my family and definitely my best friend and lover SHAH. the end
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